یه روز از خواب پا میشی‌..خودتو تو آینه میبینی‌....و دیگه تو نیستی‌....یه ترکی وجودتو گرفته و دیگه امید به برگشتنت نیست....پس بودن بی‌ حسی را تجربه میکنی‌....

I feel as if so much has happened and my life has changed a lot these past few months... the stability that I once counted on has faded.

I am lost in my current battle of regaining control... do I swing into action too quickly and risk running off in the wrong direction or work to fix problems that can wait...but can it wait?

In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place...

Eternity is a tricky concept

When fairytales inform us that 'they all lived happily ever after', they never specify how happily - or for how long that 'ever after' lasted. If it really was for ever after, then it still must be happening now. Somewhere, in some hidden corner of our world, must be loads of ageing but blissful princes, princesses, frogs, dragons, kings and witches. Eternity is a tricky concept. We just don't have time to sit around long enough to figure out what it means. But 'happiness' is a much easier idea to understand.

I alos believe happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it...

And it's easy to feel, too......and when you feel otherwise...what then? would the 'ever after' be compromised?

Few things are completely impossible, but many are very difficult. When we take on a tough task or set ourselves an ambitious target, we have to try to make sure that our other commitments are relatively easy to keep up.

To get what I want after now,...or keep who I am...I know for sure I may have to compromise the quality of some other aspect of me life.... This may yet have more repercussions than I realise...or comprehend now...maybe I need more time to clear my head think hard before I decide...

Perhaps, it's better to do one thing right than two, badly....

This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means I have tried for something...

I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have fallen in love fast and without measuring risks... have a tendency not only to see the best in him, but to assume that he is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.

My birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks, I didn't want to think about it, or even remember it, but it is kind of unavoidable....it is a big one this year...well maybe not to some....but usually 20 is when you feel like a responsible Adult....25 you know it all....by 30 you want to have it all....and by 35 well....nervous break down time right? I read few years ago that the age for the midlife crisis is gone as low as 30....this year I am kind of struggling with my inner emotions and my logical side of the brain to ensure I am making the right decisions and setting the right steps...

I used to have a life plan and have it all mapped out in front of me...it worked as long as it was just me...but when you are a couple...oh well....I am way behind my life plan....oh hell I am way behind everything and I know I am the only one to blame...for not setting my foot down and saying it how it should be!

I'm starting to wonder if whether or not my husband will ever be ready for a child....Having a baby is a monumental, lifelong commitment that no one should be coerced into...We both knew that we wanted a child before we got married....these days when I look at a baby he just turns away...and every-time it is as if someone stabs me in my stomach....thanks for the support mate!

I read somewhere in one of the forums something in regard to having kids..."I personally think that if you have to convince your husband to have a baby, it's a relationship that ready for doom" ...

Well then I guess we are doomed...If I had thought for a second that he wasn't at all interested in having a child with me, or would have been difficult to talk to about it and wouldn't "try" to conceive, I would not have married him.

I do wish that he was upfront with me from the beginning of our relationship ....
and I do understand it when he says flat out that he wants to be sure we are in good financial standings first...I agree with that and for the past 6 years that has been my thinking exactly...but we are in a good place now and delaying it further with the clock ticking for us could just lead to further problems down the line...and I seriously don't want to get to a point that I resent him for denying me a child...